The weather has been seriously pissy for the past couple of days, and it is expected to stay pissy for at least another day. Which wouldn’t be so bad except for the fact that every stupid inbred clueless retarded blind uncoordinated insensitive oblivious inconsiderate maladjusted fucker with a
drivers license motor vehicle was on the road and getting in my way.
Halfway through the afternoon the chief investigator asked if I could take the van and meet the on call investigator to go pick up a body. Since my job description has the sentence “and anything else the Coroner needs done” or words to that effect, I took the keys and headed out to do a bodysnatch.
I quickly discovered that the body van hydroplanes like a sunuvabitch when it hits a puddle, and it struck me that it would be pretty strange and ironic if I were to get into an accident while in that particular vehicle. More so if I did so with a body in the back. Ew.