Dear Old Man in the fitness center:

skreet skreet

First off, I think it is incredibly admirable that you are exercising even though you are easily well into your eighties.

skreet skreet

Heck, for all I know you’re over a hundred and are simply in excellent shape for your age.

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You’re an inspiration to me and everyone else, and I hope that I’m as active and mobile when I reach your age.

skreet skreet

But, please, oh please, could you get some shoes that don’t squeak like nails on a chalkboard when you walk on the treadmill?

Thanks so much!

skreet skreet