The CIA doesn’t need to waterboard prisoners. If they really want to break someone, all they need to do is sic a determined five-year-old on them.

It went something like this:

The Kid: I want a puppy.
Me: Maybe in a few years, honey.

(a few days later)
The Kid: Pleeeeeease? I want a puppy.
Me: We don’t have a fenced yard. We’ll have a dog someday.

(a few more days)
The Kid: Maybe Santa can give us a new house that has a yard so that we can get a puppy?
Me: Erm… I don’t think that’s going to happen.
The Kid: PLEEEEASE? I really want a puppy!
The Husband: What kind of dog do you want, Kid?
Me: [gives the husband the Look Of Death]

(several more days)
The Kid: Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease! I want a puppy!
Me: [whimpers] No small dogs! Tell daddy that you want a German Shepherd!
The Husband: [makes growly noises about how much they shed]
Me: [snickers]

(still more days)
The Husband: What kind of dog are we getting?
Me: [sighs] No small dogs. No stupid dogs.
Husband: No shedding dogs.
Me: And no destructive dogs.
Both of us: [internet internet internet]
Me: Standard poodle?
Husband: Standard poodle.

Meet the latest addition to our household:
Wolf the Poodle