Last Friday was a Mother’s Day luncheon at my daughter’s school, where the moms got to sit down with their darlings and enjoy a lovely repast of cheese sandwiches and carrot sticks.[g] The kids sang songs for us, and had artwork hung along the walls, but the absolute best part was the “essay” that each kid wrote (or rather, dictated to the teacher) about their mother. This was mine:

My mom’s name is Diana. She helps me. Her eyes are blue and her hair is red right now. She likes to go to hotels. She loves to eat at restaurants. She’s good at jumprope and bicycles. Her favorite color is blue and her favorite food is macaroni. She gives me lots of love. She is beautiful. She loves me forever. I like when she helps me.

(I especially love the part about how I like to go to hotels..LOL)